For the first long stretch of planning I was surrounded by piles of wedding magazines; and virtually buried under an enormous collection of bookmarks. And while they’re still there — I have a bit of a magazine addiction, I admit — as we get closer to the wedding I find myself drawn more and more to learning and thinking about “marriage” rather than “wedding”. I’ve often wondered how anything is really going to change, other than, potentially, my name and our legal and tax paperwork. From what I understand through reading of others’ experiences though, that is not the case. Things change. I’m not sure what exactly, since I’m not yet on the other side. But I’m curious to find out.
I’m sure books like these may have always been around, they’re just more on my radar at this stage of life. But here is a list of a bunch that I’ve come across and added to my current reading list.
- Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, Elizabeth Gilbert
I was particularly excited about this book, as I’m a big fan of Eat, Pray Love. I’m only a couple of chapters in, but so far it’s pretty interesting — a mix of Gilbert’s personal story/marriage journey and explorations of the marriage perspectives of various cultures. - Marriage and Other Acts of Charity: A Memoir, Kate Braestrup
I love that fact that Braestrup can speak from the perspective of one half of a married couple, as well as that of an ordained minister who works with other couples on a daily basis. It sounds like there is more of a focus on God in this book — a given considering her profession — which turns me off a bit. But I’m interested in the lessons someone of her experience may have to offer. - Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son, Michael Chabon
This book looks particularly interesting to me for two reasons: 1. because I feel like the Husband/Father perspective is one that is rarely revealed or examined, and 2. because I loved The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay. - You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up, Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
A writer/actor team with a resume that includes Curb Your Enthusisam and Seinfeld? How can this book not be hilarious?
Have any of you read these titles already? Or are there any others you’d recommend?
5 Comments
I really loved Kate Cohen’s “A Walk Down the Aisle: Notes on a Modern Wedding.” I was in the public library and found this among all the planning and etiquette books and immediately after I read it I bought it.
Far too often, with cohabitation being the norm before marriage, many people overlook the wedding and vows as merely putting it on paper or satisfying the desire of more traditional family members. Cohen writes about her experiences with such depth and thoughtfulness that you really realize how important some of the traditions are. She wrote about many things we would have never thought of, and it definitely influenced our wedding.
“The Five Love Languages” is a great book! I received it from one of my bridesmaids as a wedding gift.
http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment/dp/1881273156
I loved this post and your reccommendations! Thank you.
@ nicole-lynn: thanks!
@ amanda: awesome, thanks for the rec, that looks great!
@ jessica: thanks so much for reminding me about that book. i have seen it before but somehow lost track, and your thoughtful words definitely have convinced me to pick it up.
When my daughter met her future husband I decided to give her some straight talk about marriage from someone who was clueless when they said, “I do”. I decided to create a book that tells exactly why marriage eventually sucks for most couples (based on a successful 31 year marriage that has had its trials and also 3 decades of studying relationships.)
I started writing the book chapters in this blog (until my daughter told me that people write ‘snippets’ in blogs.) So I promise future entries will to be shorter.
Please check out the blog and give me any feedback or questions you have.
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[…] back I mentioned a few books on marriage. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet had time to go through most of the books I listed, but I did […]